Quotes and Stories

Quotes:
“Your country dirtied up my pants!” – Me, being peeved about how fast my nice suit pants got dirty today.

“Our country dirtied up the world!” – The almost instant reply by Qazi Mustaffa, who looked like he was asleep when I made my complaint. He is an old judge who, due to the pressure of successive torture under the Communists, Mujahedin, and Taliban, lost his ability to hold a regular job and now works for us as a day guard.

“Wolves. Judges. Wolves. Politicians. Wolves. Foreigners. Wolves. Soldiers and Taliban. Wolves. My face in the toilet. All that blood. Just blood and wolves.” – Another one from Qazi Mustaffa.

“I don’t understand, and I have been thinking about it a lot. Thinking a lot is a sin, so you should just find someone else.” – Leather craftsman commenting on my slightly idiosyncratic bag design. I’m going to have to make a cardboard model.

“When I first moved to Germany, my pants were pitched for two weeks.” – My database manager explaining his time in Germany and how long it took for him to get used to how women dress there. His physical illustration included what appeared to be the ol’ Heil Hitler but terminating in a fist.

Zanzir’s fender bender:
Let me cut to the chase. It was Zanzir’s fault, and the other car’s headlight was broken. A crowd gathered and Zanzir offered to fix the car for the other gentleman. “No,” he said, “I want revenge.” As if by magic, a hammer appeared from among the crowd and the gentleman proceeded to take his revenge. The crowd approved, and Zanzir’s headlight was broken. Zanzir noticed that the hammer stroke had scratched his chrome and demanded justice, since no such injury was suffered by the other gentleman. The crowd agreed. The hammer was passed. Our admin guy got out and told Zanzir to leave it. The crowd disagreed. “Justice!” they screamed, but Zanzir relented.

More Justice:
A woman was sold by her father. She was sold again by her “husband” for a two thousand dollar profit. She was put on the street for some time, ran away, and sought shelter at her aunt's. Her aunt’s husband raped her and threatened her life to keep her silent. She told her aunt and ran away again for fear of him. She was pregnant when she made it to the provincial capital. There, she was arrested by the police for “escape from home.” A legitimate crime under the penal code. Her aunt’s husband still threatened to kill her. One of our lawyers took the case and realized that simply getting her released from prison would not due. After negotiations with the judge, police, and the rapist. Everyone, including her, agreed that the rapist should marry her, and she should become his second wife. The matter was thus settled.